For a group of students at the Upper Elementary School, just one lunch a week can be a good opportunity to discuss their situations at home and share feelings with peers in a similar household situation.
Arline Conigliaro, a counselor at UES, has formed a successful support group of soon-to-be sixth graders who have siblings with special needs. The group was formed after Conigliaro said several parents contacted her when the students were in fifth grade, asking the counselor if anything could be done for the students.
For young students who live at home with siblings who have special needs, Conigliaro said that it can seem like their parents spend much more time with their siblings. It can be tough sometimes, she said.
Sometimes, they just need someone to talk too and share experiences with.
“It seems as though the disabled child, due to a special need, has a lot more attention given to them in the family setting,” Conigliaro said. “The siblings of the special needs children can use the special acknowledgement and attention; they’re just as important. The child in need is the one who will get the most attention. Parents can really be torn, so we try to help.”
The group consists of eight students who will be moving into the sixth grade for the next school year, Conigliaro said. Two of the students don’t have siblings that have special needs, but are more involved in the group as “support” members.
Susan Ambrose, whose son Anthony is a special needs child, said her older son Craig has learned to share his experiences with the group and has grown as a person through his participation.
“Anthony’s older brother Craig is able to talk about any frustrations he may have because his younger brother is physically challenged. Craig is always trying to help his brother — always looks out for him and walks behind him just in case he may lose his balance. That’s the kind of kid Craig is,” Ambrose said. “But this group allows him to talk off the cuff about things he has questions about. For example, maybe Craig heard someone making fun of Anthony and doesn’t want to talk to me about it because he knows I’ll be sad. Or, even sometimes the siblings might be embarrassed by their brother or sister’s behavior in public places.”
The program is invaluable for families in their situation, Ambrose said, because it’s reality that the special needs child typically gets more attention. It’s simply based on need, she said, which is made clear to the sibling without the special need, but it’s still great to have a support group.
Conigliaro said the group will continue to meet next year and is open to new members. For parents with students in the fourth or fifth grades in the school district, she urged them to contact their student’s guidance counselor to see if a similar group could be created.
